How well do you know me?

Recently, my beautiful Wife and I were discussing things that happened in the past, both good and bad. We do that a lot, you know, we talk to each other.

It's no secret that my Wife and I have not always gotten along with some of my Wife's family. And at times, the division between us and her family reached Grand Canyon scale. During those times, I did my best to love her, comfort her, and be there for whatever she needed. Even though it has gotten a lot better, I decided that there was a lot of misunderstanding that went on, and since the conversation, I have thought about it more and feel I needed to say something, even if its on my own little soap box.

I know that we weren't totally innocent in all that went on, but I have never felt that much intolerance directed at me in all of my life, that I can remember. I know I do not do things that the "norm" does. I never have. It probably is because I am #4 in a family of 10 kids, and maybe I felt I needed to go against the grain to get attention, but I have never been one to conform. I have a wry sense of humor, I am a large over bearing and sometimes intimidating person, but that is only if I want to show that. And probably my greatest fault, I am VERY direct. I do not beat around the bush. It wastes time. It has causes problems that I have fought my whole life. Let me repeat that, "That I have fought my whole life."

The difference here, married, and being loved by the most wonderful person in the world, is that my actions do not only effect me. My Wife is there with me through all the situations I get into. And how I am blessed for that. And when something like that happened, I usually was fired up and ready for battle, but through all the problems, accusations, attacks and uncomfortable moments, I didn't do anything but support my Wife. I realized that doing that would only create a larger rift, and for her sake, I just held her. She cried. A lot.

Now, out of all this, I realized a very important detail.

Now this detail, has shown itself in my job recently, as the bosses in control of my destiny, basically, either promote me or deem that I am not worth keeping, and let me go.

This detail showed at the Doctor's office during my near-death illness this summer.

This detail has even caused problems in my church.

The detail is.... in each and all of these instances, the people involved, DO NOT KNOW ME. I was judged by looks... I was judged on misunderstandings... and the most disturbing, I was judged by what others have said.

The doctor's that dealt with me the most, knew I was a very caring person, and they realized what happened to me was not because of my life style, my weight, my stress level, or anything like that. They knew this could happen to ANYONE, and it just had to happen to me. I am SO glad it happened to me and not to my Wife. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. No one should go through that much pain.

In my job, my art talent is what I rely on each and every day. The people in charge never paid attention to what I could do, and because I worked at a different site, they actually considered letting me go. It took many phone calls, emails, and finally a co-worker to stand up and get their attention. They kept me and I feel the department is stronger. I know my new co-workers are happy to have me.

Which brings me to my Wife's family.

Since we have moved, things seem to have gotten better and I believe HALO 2 and 3 have helped bring us together. I feel Video Games in general have allowed us to remain in contact with not only her family, but many friends across the country and even my brothers and sisters. We have fun, those of us that play. Another thing I feel is not of the norm. We moved because of our jobs. And I feel that HALO, video games in general, and some of her family that have blogs, allow us to see into there lives a little.

I wish I could tell them. I wish I could call up her family, and just tell them. I am not a bad person. I love my Wife, who is your sister, your daughter, your aunt, your niece, your sister-in-law, and maybe even your best friend, with all my heart. I have never treated her bad. I have never forced my will on her. I let her do what ever she feels she needs to do. I encourage her to do what she can to make her self a better person. We are genuinely in love with each other. No, we haven't been blessed with kids, its in God's hands. We trust that he has a plan for us, and we will be ready for it.

When we moved here, the job I had lined up, moved to Florida. We then were asking, what did we just do, and looking back, we realized we had helped a few people along the way. Even just recently, a very dear brother of mine. I got to get to know him. We had ups and downs this summer, but it was awesome to have him here while I went through the hospital visits, as he cheered me up and helped around the house. I know moving to Saint George was where we needed to be, not because we were pushed there or running away from any problems.

I feel there are two people who really know me. God and Michelle. I think if you want to get to know me. Then get to know me yourself. Not on the voice of others, nor on preconceived notions, nor anything but trying to honestly sit down (a.k.a. call?) and get to know me.

I am a very simple man.