The Day My Brother Died... ?

Today, at 6:04 PM, my Dad called from Salt Lake City. At first, he was glubbering... telling me to "sit down... sit down... something happened... sit down"... all I could do is say What?? What Happened?? At this point... 10 Million things run through your mind... Mom died, sister... brother... Older.. younger... cousin...

I never really experienced death. My Grandparents were all dead before I was 18 and never really knew them. The closest I got was when I went to a funeral of an ex-girlfriend of mine from my Sophmore year. A most beautiful of God's Daughters. So I was new at this.

"Your brother, Ed, has Died.", Came the response.

I didn't say anything. My Wife overheard on the phone, and was shocked. As Dad went on about how no one has heard from him from his small home in the back woods of Montana, in a few days, so my brother went and broke in his house and found him...

I reflected about him. See, Ed, was my older brother. The Oldest of ten of the craziest bunch of family kids. I try and remember him. Him protecting us when we were younger, then turning and punching us for getting him involved. Heh. As fast as he was about being picking on you for being the younger, was as fast as he was about protecting you. Sure he had flaws, his infamous "Green Tea and Vodka drink to clean your Liver" theory, for example. But he was a Champion to his younger brothers and sisters. He taught me how to drive. He taught me the hardships of responsibility. I lived with him a few times, and he was a rock. Taught me that to be out on your own, meant your freedom, and with that came responsibility. You can come in at 3Am and noone will care. Many hours we played cards. He helped me buy my first new car. He helped me get my first job in the IT industry. He was always cordial to my girlfriends, and especially to my Wife.

He has done some wacky things. Even to the end, moving to Montana, renting a cabin in the middle of no where, and buying a horse. But you know... thats what he was. He loved Montana. It is gorgeous there, and I imagine how peaceful it was.

So I asked the normal questions about whats going to happen and was told the whole family is converging in Great Falls. Mom and the girls weren't doing well, but I knew it would be ok.

My worry was my Dad. It hadn't really hit him yet, but he was fragile anyways, and when it does, I hope he has the support around him to help him.

One detail was no one knew when he died. Word came to me that it was at least 5 Days. I felt guilty. I really did. 5 Days!?! And no one even checked on him. But I told myself, it wasn't that we didn't care, it was that we knew he was ok. I still believe he is ok.

After my Wife and I ate some dinner, I called my Brother. I expected him on the verge of tears, but amazingly, he was ok. Not many can find their older sibling in that instance, and be ok. As he explained it, it is harder for him to have to tell us. And I agree. Even though we are all Carlsson's; we deal with things very differently. I fight my demons inside. I always have. And I am sure I will fight this Demon for a long time. But we laughed together. Fred and I laughed. I think we both needed it.

Anyways, I know he is a much better place, because with all his faults, and chinks in his armor, he was the Champion, the Hero, and the Protection Warrior of the Family. He would do anything for anyone of us, at any given time. And now he has been called to fight in God's Army.

Go Ed. Kick some Demon Ass of your own.